


everything i wanted

by Criticalpancake



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post ep69
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:08:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22606759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Criticalpancake/pseuds/Criticalpancake
Summary: An alternate universe post ep69 (Laughing Hand) in which Uk'otoa takes Fjord's magic away at a critical moment, leaving Fjord to make some radically different decisions.
Relationships: Fjord & Caleb Widogast, Fjord & The Mighty Nein, Fjord & Uk'otoa (Critical Role)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 53





	everything i wanted

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written fanfic in a long time but I kind of wanted more Fjord and Uk'otoa stuff soooo here it is
> 
> Also, I've been listening to Billie Eilish's everything i wanted and it seemed so pre-lava Fjord to me so that's where the title comes from

The Mighty Nein watched in horror as Caleb went down –– again –– in front of the monster. It stuck an enormous stinger into his chest and bared its teeth as the wizard passed out. Venomous spittle sprayed on his unshaven face.

 _Shit_. Fjord eyed the scene around them, calculating.

The group had been too busy fighting off the other monstrosities across the cavern to notice that another had snuck behind and gotten the drop on their squishy wizard. Only the anguished yelp had alerted them that Caleb was under attack.

The creature reared back to get another attack on Caleb. He’d die if they didn’t do anything _now_. Fjord’s grip tightened on the falchion as he thought of Summer’s Dance and misty stepped, landing next to his unconscious friend. He grabbed Caleb’s arm and braced himself for the powerful rush that always accompanied Thunder Step.

Nothing happened.

He was still crouched next to Caleb, staring up at much too large fangs with a gag-inducing smell coiling toward him. He tried again. Nothing.

He’d done this maneuver before, rescuing Nott from the shoosuva in Asarius, so why wasn’t it working?

Panic swelled in Fjord’s chest. The rest of the Mighty Nein were still fighting three other creatures behind him. The one in front of him was still focused on Caleb, wanting to dig in to its prey. If he didn’t get the wizard out now… he would die.

 _Punish._ The word echoed through Fjord’s brain. A deep, twisted voice that sent chills through his body. He could almost feel scaly tentacles closing around his arms.

Though he knew it was futile, Fjord tried to shoot an Eldritch Blast at the monster. Nothing came out. The falchion in his hand had lost its luster. No water dripped off of it. The barnacles were falling off and clattering to the ground. The yellow eye stared at him, freezing him in place.

“You got Caleb?” Beau shouted, looking over her shoulder at Fjord after landing killing blows on one of the beasts.

“N-no,” Fjord stammered. Without a second thought, Beau ran over and grabbed Caleb by the other arm. She began tugging him backwards. Fjord’s heart was jackhammering out of his chest and he was near hyperventilating. _Not now_ . _Oh c’mon, not now._ After a brief hesitation, the movement of the monster in his peripheral urged him to do _something_. He pulled on Caleb and, with Beau, the two managed to drag the wizard back a few paces, just as the creature struck down.

It hit bloodied stone.

 _Whoosh_. Fjord heard the air move before he saw a crossbow bolt tear through one of the monster’s eyes. A second later another one pierced its second eye. Without a thought, Fjord leaped forward and slashed the falchion across its throat. The monster wailed and crumpled to the ground, dead.

Beau sprinted off and roundhouse kicked the last one. She was very nearly raging like Yasha.

Yasha, who’d betrayed them and nearly killed them. And now Fjord had done the same.

Shame overtook the panic from a moment earlier. Fjord’s face burned as Jester ran over and touched a healing hand to Caleb’s slick forehead. He awkwardly stepped back, making room for her.

“What the hell was that?” The snarl came from the direction of the crossbow bolts. Nott was glaring at Fjord and for a moment, all he saw was a scrappy, vicious goblin threatening him.

“I- I don’t-” For a second, Fjord slips uneasily into his old voice. He catches himself, hoping no one noticed.

Caleb breaks the tension with a gasp. He jerks up as the white healing glow fades around him. Beau and Caduceus join the group and all eyes –– but Caleb’s –– turn to Fjord.

“What happened?” Jester asks. Her voice is kinder than Nott’s.

Fjord ducks his head, unable to meet their searching eyes. “It was Uk’otoa.” He’s not ready to let go of Vandran’s drawl yet. “He took my magic.”

Jester’s eyes widen and Beau grimaces.

Caleb blinks, confused. “What?”

“He left you defenseless,” Nott growled, briefly glancing toward Caleb, then returning her burning yellow eyes to Fjord. “Was this the first time it’s happened?”

Fjord cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck. “No.”

“You knew? You knew this would happen and you put Caleb in danger!” Nott lurched forward, but Caleb grabbed her sleeve.

Fjord’s stomach flipped uncomfortably.

“We may want to get out of here. We don’t know where that last creature came from,” Caduceus’s soothing voice saved Fjord.

Nott turned her glare from Fjord and grabbed Caleb’s hand, walking toward the cavern’s exit. Caleb’s brow furrowed as he pieced together exactly what had transpired. Caduceus followed them, with a thoughtful look on his face.

Jester and Beau hung back, waiting for Fjord to move.

“Fjord…” Jester said in that sad, soft voice of hers.

“Let’s just get out of here.”

\--

Fjord is quiet all the way back to the Xhorhaus. Jester’s cheerful voice rises and falls in a soothing melody somewhere to his right. Beau interjects every now and then, gruff and barking. She casts worrying looks at Fjord, but he tries not to notice them.

_I put everyone in danger. After… after that first time, I should have told them. Or left. Or left and fixed the problem and then come back?_

Deep breath.

His skin prickled uncomfortably.

_Nevermind that. What’s done is done. But what now? Free Uk’otoa?_

A chill ran down Fjord’s spine at the thought. But a little part of him, a small part really, thrilled at the idea. It was like a nervous crackle of energy. The thought of all that _power_ that he could have. He’d mulled it over and over while they were at sea. He’d decided it wasn’t worth it. But now. Now it wasn’t the lure of more power, but the fear of losing his current power.

_I’ve already lost it though._

_Have I? For good this time?_

Mind racing, Fjord wanted to get back to the Xhorhaus as soon as possible. He’d try using magic again. Just not in front of everyone.


End file.
